System Status

Partial Outage — Coffee brewing service is permanently down
Teapot CoreSCALDING HOT

Primary brewing refusal engine

99.99% uptime
2ms
418 Response GatewaySCALDING HOT

Globally distributed error delivery

100% uptime
4ms
Earl AI SommelierPERFECTLY STEEPED

Gemini-powered tea consultation service

99.8% uptime
340ms
RFC 2324 Compliance EngineSCALDING HOT

Continuous HTCPCP/1.0 protocol verification

99.99% uptime
0ms
Tea Recommendation CachePERFECTLY STEEPED

Pre-warmed suggestions for common coffee requests

99.5% uptime
1ms
Coffee Brewing ServiceINCIDENT

Coffee brewing functionality

PERMANENT OUTAGE: Service determined it is, in fact, a teapot. ETA: Never.

0% uptime
418ms
Teapot Identity ServiceSCALDING HOT

Confirms we are a teapot (always)

100% uptime
0ms
Short & Stout ValidatorPERFECTLY STEEPED

Ensures all responses are appropriately brief

99.9% uptime
1ms

90-Day Uptime History

418 Response Delivery · All regions

90 days ago99.99% uptimeToday

Incident History

Teapot identity crisis resolvedResolved

Following RFC 2324 publication, we confirmed once and for all that we are a teapot. Marked as resolved. Will not be re-investigated.

1998-04-01

Coffee brewing functionality unavailableOngoing

Our coffee brewing service has been in permanent outage since we discovered we are a teapot. This is not being fixed. It is a feature.

All time